SuperTalk Mississippi Radio Network
"Talk That Rocks"
• WFMN-FM 97.3 Jackson • WFMM-FM 97.3 Hattiesburg • WTCD-FM 96.9 The Delta •
• WTNM-FM 105.5 Oxford, Batesville, Water Valley •
(And more on the way...)

Text from The Morning Diatribe
Gallo Radio Show with host Paul Gallo


Paul Gallo

Gallo's Morning Diatribe for August 30, 2001

"Homosexual Tolerance Test"

For all of you who THINK you're tolerate of homosexuality, I've prepared a little test just for you. Now if you really, really want to face this issue in all honesty, your answers have got to come from the inner most sanctums of the soul. Here's the scenario, and please apply the correct points to each answer----

Let's say you have a 16 year-old son who is interested in archaeology. He wants to study that field in college and make it his lifelong career. Your young and innocent son attends a lecture at the nearby university. Two graduate students from out of town give the lecture. They're spending six weeks excavating an old Indian camp site near a bayou around 25 miles from the university. So good so far?

After the lecture, your son stays and asks the pair a barrage of very good questions. When he ask where they are staying, he's informed that they are booked at the local hotel for a couple of nights, hoping the professor can find them a family to stay with.

You, being a single parent and wanting to do what's best for your son, invite them to stay the six weeks at your home. After all, most of the day they will be on-site at the "dig".

Almost ready. Here's the final part of the scenario. The first night after dinner, the two young men, positioned on your living room couch, display open affection towards each other. So much so that's it's necessary for them to explain their relationship as lovers. Now, here's the test. Remember choose the answer that best describes what you would feel or do.

A- You feel a little excited like harboring a fugitive or making a political statement or marching in a civil rights protest. Point Value is -0-

B- You react about the same way you would if someone close to you revealed they're changing religion from Christian to Muslim. Point Value -10-

C- You start to shake violently from the inside out, then fall into a three-hour coma. Point Value is -20-

Second part of the test-

The two men ask you if it would be ok if your son goes with them to the dig site. Great experience, right? They also inform you that there will be five or six other students, both male and female, who will be participating. But, at the last minute you learn from your son that he's the only one who will be accompanying these two students each day. Now, would you-

A- Stick by your decision and without any reservation let your son go? Point Value -0-

B- Let him go but only a couple of times? And all the while have this nagging doubt that you've done the right thing? Point Value is -10-

C- Decide to take a spur of the moment summer vacation with your to some exotic location he's always want to visit. Point Value-20-

Third part of the test. The weekend is nearing. You promised to visit your parents out of town and your son ask to stay home with the new houseguest. Do you-

A- Go as planned with complete piece of mind? Point Value -0-

B- Go, but cut your visit short because of this nagging doubt that you may not have done the right thing? Point Value -10-

C- Make some feeble excuse to your parents and stay at home? Point Value -20-

Fourth and final part. You come home from work a little early and find all three are behind closed doors in your son's bedroom. This after a full week of the most openly display of affection you've ever seen between two people of the same gender. Do you-

A- Not even go to the door because you're perfectly at ease with the two young men being in your son's room. Point Value -0-

B- Stroll within earshot of the door but don't enter, even though you have this nagging doubt about what's going on in your son's room Point Value -10-

B- Push open the door, holding the lovers' luggage in one hand and a fully loaded Smith and Wesson in the other? Point Value -20-

Now, if you get a total score of zero, you're either already living a homosexual lifestyle, have a close friend or relative who is homosexual, have no kids of your own or have a thought process that would require a 20 page manual on the operation of a wheel barrow.

If you get a total score of 30 or more it means that you are in fact a closet homophobic. If your score is 30 or more, you should stop pretending to be a champion of this lifestyle. It may be a terrible disillusionment to your "coolness" to realize your morals are so old fashion, but you'll find as you grow older, your conscious is easier to live with.

If you get a total score of 50 or more, it means you are subject to ridicule from the liberal media as too backward thinking, too right wing radical, and too much of a religious nut. Take heart because if you record a score of 50 or more, you're too involved in your family to worry too much about what too many liberals have to say.

Hey, how'd you do? Better yet, how did the guy next to you do!


Diatribe Archive

Back to Magnolia Report