The "Who's Yo Daddy" Trust Fund

Want to solve teenage pregnancies? No, I mean do you REALLY want to solve teenage pregnancies? I don't think the politicians do; at least not in Mississippi. If they really wanted to decrease teenage pregnancy rates they would at least consider legislation similar to that in Tennessee. It's my understanding that if you are an underage father in Tennessee, you will have to start your child support payments when you reach 18. We should be doing the same thing, only better. Lawmakers in January of 2003 should introduce legislation that holds the father financially responsible until that child reaches 21 years of age. Now here's the politically sensitive part in Mississippi-NO MATTER WHAT THE AGE OF THE FATHER!

If he is a thirteen or nineteen year old pimple-popping stud, is it not true that his sperm is just as potent as an adult male? The new law of the land would state that any male, regardless of age, would be held financially responsible for his child for 20 years. That financial responsibility would be activated the moment the father is no longer in school and becomes employed either part or full time. I believe in Tennessee, payment is activated regardless of school status. But like Tennessee, wages would be garnisheed.

If the father has no idea where the child is, no matter. The money goes into the "Who's Yo Daddy" fund. By the way, delinquent fathers would not be eligible for any social programs from food stamps to government employment. It's like the Selective Service, you can't get a government job without signing up. Hey, we may return to a time reminiscent of the draft, when young men avoided placing themselves in a vulnerable position of being called to service. Faced with child support, the best strategy would be to continue high school and finish college. Just think what this would do for improving education in the state.

I'm not so naïve as to think this would make a big difference overnight. It's going to take a while. It's going to take little brother listening to big brother gripe about sending money to child support instead of buying a new sound system. It's going to take a generation of young people learning the true meaning of responsibility. I think it could be some of the most meaningful legislation we've enacted in a long time.

On a recent show I ask the audience to help me find any flaws in this proposed legislation.

Here goes-

Wouldn't this increase abortions?

That's a good point. I really don't think an impregnated and deserted young mother-to-be is going to choose to abort that baby rather than identify the father. To the contrary, it may work just the other way. If she doesn't identify the father, she, like the father, would not qualify for any government assistance. I'm also guessing the relationship between a deadbeat dad and his child's mother is not going to be the best in the world. I think most mothers would be more than willing to obtain financial support by identifying the father.

What about fathers who join the Service?

Another good point. I don't think any special regards should be given here. A certain percentage of his paycheck should still go to help support the CHILD THAT HE FATHERED! Listen, if you're not man enough to serve your child, you're not the kind of person we need serving the country.

Don't you think there would be a lot of deadbeat dads who would bail out?

Sure. They do that already. Under this legislation, we would still save money on these slim-balls. They're going to spend the rest of their lives dodging the asterisk by their name. They won't be able to draw one valid paycheck without wondering if the long arm of the law is within reach. Whenever that day happens, it's 20 years from that point! Until they begin supporting the life they brought into this world, they don't get food stamps, medical services, medical supplies, prescription drugs, job placement, pre-natal, post-natal care, baby supplies (for the next baby down the line), transportation to the job, to the emergency room, to the library or anywhere else. The law would also state that employees MUST notify the proper authorities when a delinquent dad applies for a position with their business.

If you don't start payments till the father is out of school, a kid could be eight, nine, ten years old before any child support is received, right?

Yep. But two points. First, under the present system no payments are received from these "mystery minors" at all. As a result, literally thousands of newborns go from being taken care of by the hospital to being cared for by the government. We've got to break that cycle. The taxpayers can't keep footing the baby bills. As for starting payments at the age of eighteen like Tennessee, it looks good on paper, but that's all. Garnisheed wages from an eighteen-year-old dropout most likely couldn't support a parakeet with Anorexia. Of course, if it helps pass the bill, we could make it optional.

What happens if the deadbeat dad leaves the state?

When the impregnator leaves the state and our jurisdiction, all is not lost. If we don't have some kind of reciprocal agreement with states harboring these criminals, then let them have them. That's an even better way for us to rid ourselves of any more victims from the impregnator.

This wouldn't work because the government can't keep track of people now. Just look at the all the aliens in the country.

Fair argument. But I wonder, why is it that when a hardworking taxpayer steps over the line, the government has a hundred different ways to identify everything about him from the time he was born down to his last transaction or infraction? Yes the government is inefficient, but if we dissolved every government agency that would fail in the private sector, we would shut down everything from police departments to airports. Plus, with new technology and a more valid national I.D. card a possibility, tracking deadbeat dads in the future should become somewhat easier. I understand this proposed legislation need some fine-tuning. Even the Teddy Bear bill needed a little nip and tuck before cuddling up with the governor for an official signature. That's what committees and sub-committees are for. If a problem arises, find a solution, but don't just junk the entire idea.

Finally, I wonder how we got to where we are now? Think about it. A young man can impregnate multiple partners without one single ounce of responsibility. He gets a free pass from any criminal or civil prosecution because of his legal "minor" status. If you want to peek into the world of reality that is the result of this behavior, I have a suggestion. Stand in front of the newborn window in any hospital in Mississippi and realize that most of these beautiful and innocent newborns will have no father to go home to. Can you remember anytime in our history as a nation that young men have abrogated this responsibility? Even in the Wild West days, a shotgun encouraged most men to uphold their marital and parental duties.

Today, we have juveniles having fun, having sex, having babies, AND LEAVING YOU TO PAY THE CHILD SUPPORT. Welcome to Mississippi!

Paul Gallo

---

Diatribe Archive

---

Back to Magnolia Report